Let's talk about compliance theater: the art of looking compliant without being compliant. It's everywhere, and it's exhausting.
Greatest Hit #1: The Annual Training Video. You know the one. It's 45 minutes of stock footage and corporate speak about ethics. There's a quiz at the end where the correct answer is always 'escalate to your manager.' Everyone clicks through as fast as possible. Nobody's behavior changes. Box: checked.
Greatest Hit #2: The Attestation Email. 'Please reply to this email confirming you've read and understood the 47-page policy document attached.' Everyone replies 'Confirmed' without opening the attachment. Compliance team celebrates 100% acknowledgment rate.
Greatest Hit #3: The Audit Prep Panic. Two weeks before the audit, everyone scrambles to fill out spreadsheets and create documentation for processes that may or may not actually happen. Auditors show up, see impressive binders, everyone passes. Real processes: unchanged.
Here's the thing: actual compliance isn't hard. It just requires doing what you said you'd do and documenting it. But that's boring. It doesn't look like work. So instead, we get theater.
The solution? Stop rewarding the performance and start measuring actual outcomes. But that would require admitting the current system is nonsense, and we can't have that.